the alarm clock plug had fallen out of the outlet. i got up, opened the windows. the light coming in is getting yellower as the colors of the leaves change. i was surprised last spring how much darker my bedroom gets when the trees have leaves. i may need to get thicker blinds for winter.

i showered and brushed my teeth. put on some clothes, grabbed a granola bar, and put my laptop in my backpack. i got on my bike and started riding towards work. the air is getting cooler. i may need to stop wearing shorts and start wearing pants.

my office was very cold for most of the day. my fingers are particularly vulnerable working on a computer. i am thinking of bringing in an indoor thermometer so i can graph the temperature of my office from day to day. then again, a piece of cardboard covering up the vent would probably be more effective.

before i left for california i noticed some very fine cobwebs and infinitesimally small bugs on a few leaves of the ivy plant in my office window. i think they are aphids or spider mites. this morning i noticed some of the leaves had fallen off. i guess i should buy some kind of insecticide to spray on them.

at work i wrote sql queries and php code for measure’s financial system.

on the way home i stopped at cd alley to buy some cds. it would be perfect if they had wireless internet so i could listen to cds while checking email and researching bands. my life needs more music, downloading be damned. i’m not sure if what i just wrote means i will be downloading music or i won’t. i meant it to mean i will. i am loving the new modest mouse and death cab for cutie.

had a morningstar philly cheesesteak veggie burger for dinner with two thick sourdough pretzels and a glass of fruit punch. immediately put on a cd, started downloading and listening to music until almost 11pm. then went for a run.

last friday i claimed i don’t have any recurring dreams. and then a few nights ago i had a dream that i swear i’ve had before.

i’m sitting on a narrow ledge on a very high cliff with my legs dangling over the edge and my back against the cliff face. for some reason i need to take this ledge to get where ever i’m going, so i’m trying to move along this ledge, scooching along on my butt.

this cliff is made out of sandstone, it’s very smooth, it looks just like the grand canyon looks (in my dreams). but in my dreams it happens to be the consistency of dry, firmly packed sand. so as i’m moving along, i’m slowly eroding the ledge. and i’m trying to be as careful as possible but also as quick as possible.

it becomes apparent that the ledge i’m sitting on is eroding too fast, so i try to burrow into the sandy wall against my back, but in doing so i have to push against the ledge i’m sitting on which makes it erode even faster.

now i’m partially burrowed into the cliff face. and there’s barely any ledge to sit on, so i’m being held in by friction. and i feel the sand eroding beneath me, blowing away in the wind.

is life all about being in a particular place at a particular time or can anyone do anything they set their minds to?

these two philosophical cliches have been rattling around in my mind lately. the first suggests it doesn’t really matter what anyone wants, life happens anyway, whereas the other suggests that anyone can forcibly (re)shape their surroundings (think neo in the matrix).

i wonder what most famous people attribute their fame to. did things just seem to fall in their laps and snowball or did they have some goal that they worked for relentlessly? is it different for famous actors than it is for famous computer people or scientists? artists? middle managers?

i tend to associate more with the former philosophy. that the big moments in life are largely out of my control, so i don’t sweat them. i just toil in the interim, to be better prepared for what might happen next.

but if i’m just letting life happen, then how do i know what to do in the present?

perhaps toil is the wrong word. what i mean is that i’m trying to take what i know now and make it bigger (while having fun doing it). i want to refactor what i know. i’m envisioning a mold colony growing larger, spreading out, but also heading in some more promising (or more random) directions than others.

it’s just that some goals seem like brain surgery from the perspective of the mold colony. yes, the mold colony might become a brain surgeon someday, but it’s got a hell of a lot of spreading out to do first.

and a boca burger with cheese embedded in it. and some country corn that is kind of sweet and salty at the same time. and a tall glass of cold water.

gosh is blue moon ever a lovely beer.

post happy hour. laying on my couch. laptop providing the only light, save the blue glow from my new computer/webserver. walking jane to her hair appointment we saw someone outside meditteranean deli with the new ibm x40, imagine a smaller laptop than mine (1 pound lighter) but just like mine in every other way. *sigh*.

felt strange being at hell on a non-dance party night. mark who owns the place does this very hard trivia night thing and lots of sils people go regularly if they aren’t up above on the second floor at bub’s (bub o’malleys) singing karaoke. since off franklin (seems to be the new sils happy hour bar) is right across the way, and since jane was slogging through her hw at the sils lab while her laptop is in purgatory, i followed the kids to hell, and floated.

woke at 5am saturday after a week of too little sleep. picked up christy and chloe and drove to pittsboro for the mark hewitt’s kiln opening. we were the eighth car. feigned sleep for two hours as the sun and mosquitos came out.

we parked at 8 and got in line. there were a dozen or so people in front of us and by 9am maybe 50-100 behind us. we brought canvas bags, which greatly improved our pot grabbing speed and capacity when they led us into the barn. i was most interested in some small vases and a very cool teapot.

christy and chloe–who grabbed exactly what they wanted–had to endure me and jane as we looked over the twenty or so pots we collected and tried to determine what we *really* wanted and what we could put back. probably the hardest part was deciding what we’ll keep for ourselves and what we’ll eventually give away as gifts.

around 11 we got home, had some lunch, and collapsed until after 5pm. got ready for the hell dance party. prepartied at niamh and eric’s, got to hell a little before 10, and i don’t think we rolled out until 2 in the morning, the only sils kids left were tim and todd (aka the bueno love baller sound system) still spinning discs at their turntables. i was soaked with sweat. we jumped out of the long, not-moving line at hectors and headed to time-out. mmm, fried chicken, mac and cheese, and a buttery, salty biscuit.