Matt’s Birthday Pub Crawl

This week Matt turned 24. And we celebrated on Saturday night by pouring Smarties™ down his throat. Just a bunch of good, clean kids engaged in some wholesome fun. Chug, chug, chug!!!

Matt popping Smarties™

When I’m famous and David LaChappelle shoots my portrait for Rolling Stone magazine, I’d envision it looking something like this:

Justin pulling Stephanie's earring

Note: Stephanie’s ear was not injured in the taking of this photo.

This would be Stephanie and Marcia sticking their tongues in my ears… or “still life with Lagunitas IPA.” Hawt.

Stephanie and Marcia sticking their tongue in Justin's ear

And finally for you aggro-homoerotic fans, I grab Matt’s ass, Stephanie watches on in horror.

Justin gabs Matt's ass as Stephanie watch in horror


Oh, Jesus Christ, Justin.


Justin, I like how you grab ass via the under-the-crotch method rather than the round-the-side method. Hot!

Though it’s hard to tell from that vantage, his legs were suitably spread. Also I was suitably inebriated.

We all were suitably inebriated. That’s not a requirement for grabbing my ass, though.

wow. nice ass-grab.

You have no idea, Robin. His grip is firm yet imparts a caring touch.

The truth behind the picture is that the camera (or camera operator) was malfunctioning, so I was firmly yet gently grabbing Matt’s ass for at least a solid minute.


I hate to see a good southern boy go wrong in the hands of Western Hottentots…

It is worth nothing that while the final picture in the short array shown does depict Justin firmly, yet gently, grabbing my ass, he is, in the very previous shot, being “attended to” by two very attractive females. To this end, I can only be responsible for only so much of Justin’s downfall and it would seem he’s rather capable of exuding such raw heterosexuality that not only one, but two women cannot resist his wiley charms.

Either that or chicks really dig quasi-gay men.

It is quite interesting, that we all picked up on the ass-grab rather than the ladies tonguing your ear….

Between the Smartie-fest, the ear-tonguing, and the ass-grabbing, this photo array is making me seriously horny. Admit it, Justin. You liked grazing Matt’s nether-regions with your elbow. We know it. You know it. And we ALL know Matt loved it. Because there ain’t nothin’ hotter than a testicular elbowing. Right Matt? *snicker*

As long as the activity being described includes the words “gentle” and “testicular” in close proximity, sign me up.

Actually my elbow was in the clear. It was my elbow-pit that was cradling Matt’s Gentleness.

I stand corrected, Justin. It was an elbow-pitting of his testicular region. *ahem*. :)


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