work

it is impossible for me to send a meaningful email from work. i am in cambodia for work. i am working. i am permanently in a work state of mind. i wake at 6am. eat breakfast at the hotel. get to work by 8am. and then i am at work until 5 or later. i get home to my room which hasn’t been air conditioned all day, and it feels hotter inside than it is outside, and i strip off all my clothes and just stare. at the ceiling. at a wall. out the window. maybe for an hour. until either hunger or the bathroom or the need to work more calls me. eventually the room cools down, and i am back on my laptop, and i will myself to do more as long as i can. music helps. small discrete accomplishable goals help. then it’s getting close to 9pm. i’m exhausted because it was only the other day that i arrived on the other side of the world. getting to sleep won’t be hard. staying asleep til 6am might be.

these trips are like exercises of will. like would i be able to cut off my own arm with a dull knife if i was trapped by a boulder with no food in a canyon crevice? or will i be able to wake myself at 6am and endure insurmountable frustrations only to find out at 5:30pm i am on my own as far as finding transportation between the embassy and the hotel?

Care to Comment?

Or if you'd prefer to get in touch privately, please send me an email.

Name

Email (optional)

Blog (optional)