sanity log day 2 – 430am dec3

for various reasons, i did not return to austin for thanksgiving. this has given me the mental space to begin work on my web database final project, in exchange for missing my family and our cooking together.

it’s worth noting how various things in life drop off the radar so that we can stay focused on the task at hand. running? cooking? house cleaning? couch buying? day of the week? weather? laundry? work? regular sleep? (people?)

every few days i do the dishes. that seems to calm me. i like a clean kitchen, i like dishes drying on the rack. i seem to care less about the hovel i’ve created out of my living room floor. i must admit it’s a comfortable hovel, if not a little austere: laptop, on floor with halo of scattered magazines and books, the occasional empty glass, a sock or two.

would i still do this if i had a couch?

i shave every other day. but that does tend to drop off if i don’t have to worry about making appearances at work, or going out socially to well-lit places.

i always shower after i wake up. this is a constant, unless a shower is wholly unavailable. it seems without this i cannot transition mentally from a sleeping mode to waking.

similarly i always wash my face and brush my teeth before getting ready for bed. this too is a constant, a division between consciousness and not, a preparation for change. something about being in water. i guess helps mark the division, since it’s not often that i’m in water. i guess that’s why it’s so odd to be soaked by an unexpected rainstorm. granted you’re wet and uncomfortable, but even after you rot for a bit until you’re finally able to undress and put on warm dry clothes, it’s like you’ve crossed over into some uncharted space, everything becomes cozy, warm, and feels like it did when the power went out as a child and mom would light some candles and we’d all run cause the electricity was in the air.

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