I am realizing this is harder than it should be for people like us. When you really enjoy the “meat” of being human in a way that other people scratch their heads at, you can cause a lot of pain when you try to expect it from others or reject them when they don’t come along for the ride. Maybe if you could spot like-minded people from afar….(they talk about poetry, they like to take walks, they write, they keep journals, they cry, they save fallen leaves, they take pictures of the sky, they are dreamers, they relish sensation). These people are not everyone. Maybe they don’t program for a living (maybe they do). Maybe they are all under 18 (are we old? no, we can’t be.) Is everyone so jaded by relationshipping all their lives and the categories, roles, scripts, schemas that come along? Do they reject the drama and go straight to convenience?

Must everything be so casual?

What the hell is wrong with love and passion?

Do what feels good to you. If it causes pain, it is because you are different. Don’t be ashamed.

bought some bankers boxes for $7 from staples today. you know they’re cardboard boxes with the lid. they come all flat and stuff, and i got the most satisfying feeling folding the thing this way and that, and voila–i had an incredibly sturdy banker’s box (w/lid).

you know. simple pleasures.

for some reason i’ve been very thirsty for interesting information lately. i think it started when i had to sit down and write up a gift wish list for the mom. and there wasn’t really like anything i needed or wanted much, so i had to like scour the web for cool stuff. and now i can’t stop.

if you’re interested in reading about cool techno social stuff, do check out boingboing. it’s updated all weblog style and is consistently interesting to me.

so i talk a lot about needing to do things the hard way first so that i can understand the motivations behind doing things the better way (the rules for which would otherwise have seemed awfully obscure). but i’ve got a lot of the hard way on my plate right now, with the intuition that there is a better way just beyond my reach. sometimes i take peeks at the better way. maybe the better way is a little farther out than i thought.

weblogs foster the worst kind of neurotic behavior. just because you typed it out (and feel better now), does *not* mean you /should/ post it. be a little self-conscious. please. for the rest of us.

lights off at 2, listened to white noise till three, read dealers of lightning till 5. the sun is coming out. i think i am going to skip sleep, i think i am going to make eggs and bacon when i ‘wake up’