i’m sitting on my new couch. the cushions are all firm and new–they need to be broken in some, i think. and i need some throw pillows. the color is almost a bluish charcoal, depending on the light. the guys who delivered them couldn’t get them in through the front door, the hallway was too small. thank god for the back door. i am not used to having such large stuff. when we first started moving things over, i was completely unprepared for almost not being able to get my mattress upstairs. (by ‘almost’ i mean not without bending the mattress into a U-shape and pushing it up the stairs with all my strength.)

now that there’s something in the living room to sit on, not having a tv is conceivable again. especially since my optimal tv would be one of those $4,000 32inch LCD things.

i am entering that part of summer where i seem to be thinking a lot about things that might affect what i end up doing next. and i’ve got a cold. so i’ve kind of been ruminating and sniffling. and then shopping for home furnishings online. and then hanging out with friends. and then ruminating again.

when i moved into the apartment on briarbridge valley, i went to town outfitting the kitchen. i had barely cooked during my four years of undergrad, and yet i seemed to have no problem at all stocking an entire kitchen from scratch.

having a bedroom separate from a living area was a new luxury altogether. the shear simplicity of its function excited me. i could solve the problem of decorating a bedroom with sparsity: a bedroom requires a bed. after sleeping on a mattress on the floor for three months (waiting for the platform bedframe to arrive), i realized a bedroom also needs a nightstand. and a nightstand needs a lamp (still working on that one).

bathrooms, thankfully, don’t need much. soap that smells nice, hand towels, fuzzy bathmats.

(all rooms need little garbage cans. in 28 days later we learned that hot water is the foundation of modern civilization. i think though that all of civilization rests on little garbage cans in every room.)

which leaves me with the room i have the least amount of experience with: the living room (or family room). it took me months of living on briarbridge valley before i realized that having a couch is of necessary importance if you ever want anyone to stop by. i was reticent initially because couches are big. after moving myself between dorms and apartments for four years, i have a pretty strong aversion to things i cannot pick up by myself. and then there is the whole issue of balancing pragmatics like comfort and cost with aesthetics like style and color.

so months went by before i finally found a couch that satisfied my divergent princples. i ordered it at the end of february with a bluish gray fabric, requiring up to 12 weeks before delivery. well, it’s been 19 weeks. i had hoped it would come today, but it looks like maybe saturday, maybe early next week? in any case, the living room has been increasingly difficult to habitate. i need a rug. i would like something very flat like sisal or jute. eventually i think i’d like a low, sturdy coffee table. beyond that i’m pretty much without either a unifying theory or checklist. i’m relying on evolution–which is taking its jolly time.

there is nothing like moving to a new place that sort of cuts right through to my gut. i’m nervous, anxious, scared. and for goshsakes i’m not even moving to a new city or anything. i’m just going down the road. a new year, a new apartment. it’s the sounds that bother me. new sounds. the fear of new sounds that i will to grow accustomed to or have to learn to bear.

one superficial thing that bothers me immediately are dirty old yellowing wallplates. that’s easy to fix. i have hardwood floors and i don’t know how to clean hardwood floors. the kitchen is nice, but kind of shabby. one day i will live in a place where there isn’t that one drawer with a corner busted off. but no one is living above me, so that is glorious.

i’m scared. that’s all there is to it. i’m scared of something new and it’s so easy to forget the surrounding niceness. like living around more people. being able to walk to weaver street. feeling part of a community.

i learned that you have to pay a yearly tax on your car, based on what that county says it’s worth. i bought my car for $800. orange county says it’s worth $2370. difference in tax amount: $24.73.

jean found out that the unc library killed the trip to the ALA conference in toronto, fearing sars.

my soon to be landlord called and seemed to imply that he wanted to revoke my lease, presumably so his daughter, who will be attending medical school at unc, could live there. his motivation: the apt next door is available at a lower rent (from someone else). which is only really meaningful if i get that apartment. and oh by the way, it won’t be available until some unknown date in the middle of july. let’s not forget i have a signed lease. there is a lot of literature online about when a tenant can and cannot break out of a lease. not so much on when a landlord can break out.

i spent all day at work buried in spreadsheets.

i am thinking this is going to be good. the positive karma was readily apparent as i rode my bike home from work to sign the lease and passed by weaver street market, carrboro’s friendly grocery co-op.

i enjoy the thought that every day, on my way to and from work (and school) i will ride by weaver street.

things got better when i found out cedar court apartments has a mini laundromat (with new looking washers and dryers) and a pretty nice pool!

and have i mentioned the apartment has two bedrooms, a dishwasher, a newish fridge, central air, and no one living above me? or that water is included in the rent, and my only utility is electric (which averages the same as my electricity, gas, and water bills right now)? or that i have two parking spaces? or that the whole apartment has been freshly painted? or that greensboro street has bike lanes on both sides of the street? or that the estes mountain bike trails are just a few blocks away? or that i’m on the f bus route which goes to campus, eastgate, and the u-mall…for free? or that i’ll be saving more than $100 a month?!

i can hardly believe it myself.