does it really count as “buying something” if you are riding your bike into town to be around people while you work and you realize (a) your ungloved hands are really cold (b) it’s going to get a lot colder tonight on the way home (c) your other gloves are smelly and massive (d) there is a gap on the way (e) the gap just happens to have these light gray polartec gloves that satisfy a “balance and order in the universe” feeling in you that your imminent hand-coldness will be alleviated with the perfect product for the purpose all the while matching your gray pseudo-jacket and providing a previously unknown level of finger dexterity such that you are able to reach into your jeans pocket and pull out your keys to unlock your bike and continue on your way.

i’m renaming today “buy nothing useless day“