My summary of the Republican pre-election publicity stunt (discovered via Arse Poetica), focusing on what really matters to most Americans:

• forcing public schoolchildren to worship a Christian God every morning (HR 2389)
• barring condo associations from mitigating displays of patriotic fervor (HR 42)
• dissuading lawyers from defending cases regarding the establishment of Christianity as the state religion (HR 2679)
• preventing gay people from being as miserable as straight people (HJ Res 88)
• lecturing women about the pain their choices are causing the religious-right (HR 356)
• preventing asexual reproduction, because then what use would there be for men? (HR 1357)
• permitting ignorance of the law as an acceptable defense for gun traffickers (HR 5092)
• preventing Republicans from gambling online the money they should be donating to The Party (HR 4777)
• permanently restricting the government’s ability to fund expeditionary wars
• and finally, reaffirming the right of people to shoot at relief workers in times of natural disaster (HR 5013)

Wait, no mention of the IRAQ or TERRORISM? I thought those were a few of the Republicans’ MOST FAVORITE things.

This is no joke. I’ve linked to the text of all the bills, so you can read them and decide for yourself.

• Spy on the government
• President Bush misuses the word “war”
• voting is broken
• war
• Could someone explain this to me?

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